It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
