Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
vagina is talking i cant
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize