i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
