You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I could have mohawked her pubes.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
