Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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