if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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