TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think your dad took our porno
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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