Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
