Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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