I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
God I need to hump something, right now.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
