i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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