I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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