I looked at my own cervix.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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