You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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