Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Randomize
