We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
