so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
