I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
