in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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