Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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