Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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