When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
