new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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