just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
