ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
