I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
whose parrot is this?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
