There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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