Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
