bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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