I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
