you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize