what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
where am i from again
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
