Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
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I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
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You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
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