i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
