Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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