their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
