sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
