you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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