Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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