I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
babies were throwing up all over the place
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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