he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
