Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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