What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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