don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize