On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
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