Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize