he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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