dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
