I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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