im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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