the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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