thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
