dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
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