So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
