we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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