508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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