there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
