I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize