I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
