how can u be prego again
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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