stop calling my apartment porn island.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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